I'm not sure why it took this long for the penny to drop, after all I've been both a single mother and Reiki practitioner for years. However, today it dawned on me just how energy scattering it is to raise kids. Often during a Reiki session for a new parent I intuit their need for Chakra balancing during the session, today I had an "ah ha" moment. A single parent when my son turned 16 months, my experience comes from the mother role, however I suspect the same diffusion of energy happens to every parent. As mothers we wear many different hats. The one who steps up to discipline and at the same time will be the nurturing cuddler who kisses the boo boo before the bandaid goes on. I found myself setting household chores and rules, sitting on the benches at hockey games cheering myself hoarse, being ready to listen and learn when a problem came up, helping with homework, cooking nutritious meals, making sure the house wasn't a complete wreck, that school and sports schedules were met, and that hopefully, I was also managing to instill values that are important...and on and on the list goes... I know that I'm mentioning those parts of the job that all parents take on. And please, don't read this as a list of complaints. I love being a mum and was ready to take on whatever needed to be done for my son through all his stages of growth. Is it any wonder that when a parent lies down on the table for a Reiki session that their energy is often frenetic and scattered. Their energy feels like it's zipping in many different directions at once and feels somewhat fragmented. While their Chakras often feel out of balance, the Male/Female energies feel distorted as well. I can only assume it is because of the multiple roles that are part and parcel of parenting. A number of clients that are also parents often mention feelings of complete overwhelm, anxiety and fatigue. Really, it's no wonder. If your energy is scattered in many directions you end up trying to manage life from a level of physical and mental depletion. If your energy is out of balance then you're more easily knocked back by life events, both large and small. When my child was 9 I began to experience Reiki sessions and in the year that followed began my Reiki training. I would return home from a session with feelings of inner serenity and a sense of balance. What I noticed was that home was also calmer, harmonious and more peaceful. I was still juggling full time work, hockey practice, school and all the other activities, but somehow they just didn't feel as frenetic and crazy. I also recall people making mention of how serene our home felt when they entered it, that it wrapped them like a hug. From an energetic viewpoint this change in my home environment was likely due to my taking time, on a fairly regular basis, to lie back on a treatment table, allowing my breath to slow, my mind to still and my energy to centre. From that space my being had collected the fragments of my scattered energy into my centre, from which it could emanate outwards to the people and environment that I was in contact with. It's pretty amazing what an hour can do to help us heal. I guess my only wish would be to have discovered Reiki right at the start of parenting. With shifting hormones, postpartum issues, sleepless nights, teething, terrible twos, trips to the principal's office,... my suspicion is that those years would have been a little less draining.
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For many, Spring is the time of year to toss out the old and make room for the new! This tradition can help to create fresh energy that benefits both our physical and emotional wellbeing. The art of Feng Shui suggests that clutter in our home can bring clutter and stagnation into our lives. For myself, I find that physical clutter affects my mental calmness and clarity of mind. For many years I have embraced the beautiful art of placement, Feng Shui, as it has brought so many positive energies into my home space. People will often comment that my home feels welcoming and peaceful. The sense of sanctuary, my space of peace that separates me from the rest of the world, the work, the noise pollution, the chaos... is essential to my wellbeing. For this part of Spring Clean Yourself I will share what I have used in my physical space when practicing my own type of energy cleaning. Watch for Part 2 where we'll talk about emotional spring cleaning...even more important! Anything you don't absolutely LOVE!! The most important step. When you look around your home at the objects you have how do they make you feel? Do they offer positive thoughts, memories, associations? or do they bring your energy down? Certainly there are the everyday mundane things we must have for day to day activities, however, if the can opener you're using is difficult to use and not doing it's job, how are you feeling as you open that can of food for you or your pet to ingest? Take a look around and get rid of those things that don't work that well, that you've kept out of some sense of doing the right thing, gifts that just don't fit (re-gift them to someone who will enjoy them). Once you've removed these things take a breath and notice how the energy in your home feels. Does it feel better? Once I've gone through all the stuff and cleaned everything then I often smudge my home or mist with a purification blend of essential oils to move out any old energy. Other regular activities can include: -Opening all the windows for 15 minutes each day to allow stagnant air out and fresh air in -Find natural scents that you enjoy and fill your space with candles, incense, oil diffusers or whatever works for you -Before bringing anything new into your home take a moment to check into how it "feels". Do you love it? just like it? meh? -Create corners of sacred space that bring you joy each time you see the contents. This could be photos, pictures, art work, plants, candles, crystals, etc. Whatever brings your heart joy. -Smudge regularly as energy can get stuck in spaces. I usually choose just after the New Moon each month when energies are fresh and new Coming next: Spring Clean Part 2 - Emotional/Mental cleaning
Something I hear from others, but also experience myself is the way in which misunderstanding, hurt and hard feelings come about through the lack of emotion when communicating through technology. When reading a text or other message we tend to interpret what we think the sender is expressing, but we do so through our own filter. That filter through which we see and hear others, is what we've developed through our past experiences in communicating with the world...but, is it true? In order for it to be true we would have to have had the exact same experiences that the sender has had in their lifetime, and have dealt with those experiences in a similiar way. Yes, there are life experiences for which we can empathize with or share the joy of, but we still do that through our perception. When communicating face to face, and really listening to another (and I don't mean listening to respond, but really hearing) we have the benefit of facial expression, hand gestures, body language, touch and tone of voice. It creates clarity in communication and the opportunity to ask questions to be sure that you are truly understanding another. As a hands on therapist I have that opportunity to clearly hear what a client is saying in regards to issues they may be having with their health. I'm able to watch how they are moving, listen to their tone of voice and see their facial expressions. What I find is that it is more often those personal interactions that are shifted to technology, as we find ourselves busier and busier in our day to day lives, and often relating from a distance. The communication with those that are the most important to us, our friends and family, are left open to the misunderstandings that can be created through our filters. While I see this causing stress in clients lives, I feel it in my own as well. Many will respond to this dilemma with a shrug and say "well, that is just how the world is now". But is that true? Perhaps it is as simple as picking up the telephone. Granted you only have tone of voice to really listen to, but that at least keeps some of the emotion in communicating. Better yet, if those relationships are important to you then making the time for face to face communication is probably more essential than keeping up with the "busyness" of life. In the long run it is likely that you'll not only experience less stress and negative emotion, but increase the release of the feel good chemicals and endorphins in your body that keep you healthy and vital. How do you maintain clarity in your communications with others?
How do you make the time in your life for those important, in person conversations? One of my passions is gardening and I like to keep up with it all summer long and into the Fall, but that takes some extra selfcare so that my body can make it happen. Here are some of the things I practice so that body pain doesn't grow, the garden does... Here's the list of things I make sure I have before starting my day out in the dirt: *Water, lots of it *Epsom Salts for the end of day *Knee pads because as you know, gardening is hard on them *A Chair in the shade Following are some other helpful tips so that you enjoy your gardening season Pace Yourself Be realistic about your garden goals for the day as your body can only do so much. I struggle with this as I get into the dirt and lose track of time, BUT, you don't want to end up injured and on my Massage table the next day...or maybe you do! Listen to your body as you go along and take breaks or at least check in every hour or so Body Posture, Body Mechanics and Body Rest Be sure to end your gardening day without back pain by remembering to bend from your knees when lifting and using long handled tools and being as close as you can to your project. Keep yourself in pelvic tilt, low back long to protect yourself Use knee pads to spare the pressure on your joints for weeding, seeding and other on the ground garden work Every hour or two take 5 minutes to stretch your muscles, replenish your fluids, sit down in the shade. Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate I certainly can't emphasize enough just how important water is for your body. Hydration plays a key role in your body's ability to function well. When gardening or participating in other outdoor activities, our body loses water through increased respiration and sweating...that needs to be replaced. Treat Your Body With End of Day Selfcare You've had a workout, your muscles have had a workout and it's time for rewards, with some body selfcare! Muscles love hot moist heat as it increases the circulation of blood, and therefore nutrients to the muscles, as well as encourages muscles to release toxins. They also love an extra dose of Magnesium after a workout and there is no faster delivery system than through the pores of the skin. So take a soak in the tub, throw in a cup or two of epsom salts, pour yourself an extra glass of water and slip in. Your muscles will thank you for it Through 20+ years of practice in Massage Therapy and other holistic modalities I have come to specialize in the individualized treatment of women. Not that it was intended, my practice has just evolved that way. Throughout the life of a woman she faces a myriad of physical, emotional and hormonal changes. (and no, this is not to say that men don’t as well). I've watched those changes over the years in practice and am always in awe, not only in how each woman's individual body deals with them but the strength each woman has in resolving emotional and physical challenges. Women face different challenges to their male counterparts, be it in the workplace, societal expectations or their role within the family unit. I was told recently that my uprooting my life to relocate to Calgary was a “brave thing for a woman, especially of my age” to be doing…. Hmmmm. Would the same thing have been said if a man was making the same changes? I think so. I think as human beings, male or female, we can become stagnant in our lives and that can be a very comfortable place to be. When anyone chooses to change all of that it does take some courage, energy and resolve. So whether change is brought about due to physical changes in age, hormones, etc. or whether we are initiating the change, we can draw upon holistic therapies to help ease our bodies and minds through them. Massage Therapy helps the physical changes in muscles, tendons, ligaments and joints whether a fast growing teen, pregnant, menopausal or arthritic. An added benefit that many women experience is that it assists in becoming more body comfortable and body confident...a great self esteem builder! Craniosacral Therapy benefits physical change through unwinding the fascia that tightens around muscles, organs and the body from injury or stress. It also assists the body to release past traumas that can cause fascia to wind tight and stay tight. Craniosacral therapy is also helpful for learning disabilities, TMJ, concussion symptoms and headaches…things that can be experienced at any age. What I've also discovered that often, when a more aggressive therapy is not working, the body will respond to the gentleness of Craniosacral. Reflexology stimulates all of the nerve endings in the feet and/or hands, and through that opens up the circulation, encouraging the body to relax, and in that, begin self-healing. Read more about this healing art.... (click here) Reiki brings balance to body, mind and spirit which can be essential to working through those periods of raging hormones that continue throughout life, easing the stress and tension brought about with exams, raising a family, being in this life and dealing with societal expectations. Reiki is a gentle reminder for the mind to rest and the body to heal. Throughout my years in practice I have been honoured to share sessions focused on the health of women be they newborn or 98 years in age, and every age in between that. I’ve been witness to watching these women travel through life’s changes with more ease upon their journey and that has been a priceless gift. What stresses and challenges to you feel, as a woman, you experience differently to men?
What steps do you take to ease and meet those stresses and challenges? Have you tried holistic health modalities? February has been deemed "Heart" month and with a focus on healthy hearts, what I see advertised in mainstream media are two things: keeping your heart healthy and chocolate for your Valentine. Hmm...that conflicts just a little. The ads seem mainly directed at the physical health of the heart muscle, and I'm not disputing the importance of that, however, what about the mood, emotion and spirit of your heart? OK. If you're a dedicated people pleaser then these tips are likely not for you, however, if you have the understanding that your self preservation means you have more energy and presence to give to yourself and others then read on... Why is the holiday season so energetically draining? It may be the extra foods, lack of sleep and worries over spending (see Surviving the Holidays Part 1) but perhaps its something closer to your soul. Putting yourself "out there" whether entertaining or visiting takes a lot of mental and physical energy...AND...when you are out there in the midst of family, friends or shopping at the mall, already feeling drained, you can be a magnet for the negativity, fear or anger energy that others are emitting. So what can you do to take care of you? You'll need about 10 minutes, so brew a cup of tea or coffee, find a quiet space, take out a pen and pencil and let's get to this. I'll admit that some of these suggestions are not going to be easy for some of you the first few times you put them into place but see if you can give 1 or 2 a try. It always seems that I have to get that universal kick in the butt before the concept of self-care crosses my awareness. In complete opposition to what I encourage with my clients. Yes, guilty of doing, more than being. A recent round with a cold/flu virus knocked me back...again...seems this year I've caught everything that is going around. I probably should have received the message the 2nd time around with a cold but it took this last knock for me to sit down and reassess. My body had been talking pretty loudly before the virus...knowing I needed to do more yoga and meditation, take more time for soaks in the tub and "do nothing"time. But as many of us do, I kept putting it off until I "had the time". Well the universe made sure of that. Life gifted me with a precious child 39 years ago. I think until you experience parenting (whether human or fur baby) there is nothing you can even remotely compare it to and the amazing experience that it is. It impacts every aspect of your life. With Mother's Day here, I find myself as I have for many years, reflecting on having been a parent and thought I would share some of the Mother's Day memories and gifts my son shared with me. Despite it's title as being for gardeners, this clip that I discovered has really great gentle stretches for most weekend warrior activities. What I like is the information given to work with YOUR body and where it is now in it's ability and flexibility, and not to push to a point of pain. I would recommend these stretches to my dance students and clients who are more physically active on their time off. It is really well done! |
Teresa Graham,
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